I got Icon when he was about two and a half years old.
He belonged to a very important person in my life, who was about to send him to the pound in desperation. She was less than a week away from moving, and couldnít keep the big dog anymore. So I volunteered, for what I thought would be a limited time. But she found a condo that was perfect, except for the fact that there were absolutely no pets allowed.
And so the limited time became roughly three and a half years.
This would put him at roughly 6 years old as of last night, 12/8/03Ö
Öwhen I found him dead in the backyard.

A few months ago I took Icon to the vet because I had noticed slight variations in behavior and appearance. Neither me or my family had noticed anything drastic.
But sure enough the doctor found his blood count very low, and he prescribed some medicine, which turned out to be steroids.
This was working for a while, but the doc had warned me that we were just postponing the inevitable, not curing him.
Well, upto about a week ago, you couldnít look at Icon and suspect anything wrong. He was playful and looked healthy as Hell. But then last week he started acting more and more melancholy and less interested in stuff, namely food and his medicine. I kept tricking him into taking his meds, but by Saturday he wouldnít eat, and it was nearly impossible to get him to swallow his pills. Sunday he barely moved and would ignore me almost entirely, except for a slight wag of the tail when I approached.

You donít know what you have til itís gone.
You donít know what that tail wagging means to you til you wonít see it anymore.

When I first saw him lying there this morning, I knew immediately it was over.
I mean, since his illness became known to me, I would check his breathing, just to be sure he was, you know? But this morning, it was obvious from the get go.
I canít explain how terrible I felt at that moment.
I kept apologizing to him.
It killed me that he spent his last moments alone outside.
There are probably a million things I could have and should have done differently from the very beginning.
Iím so sorry Icon.
You were an angel of a dog.
You were so good to us, and maybe we took you for granted and I am so sorry.
But I hope you know in a way that dogs know, that we all loved you and we will miss you very much.

I love you.

This is something I posted previously.
It's how Icon will be remembered...