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"I did my best
But I guess my best wasn't good enough
'Cause here we are
Right where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes
We're back to be being strangers
Wondering if we ought to stay
Or head on out the door" - James Ingram

"Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony" - Metallica

"Emptiness is loneliness
And loneliness is cleanliness
And cleanliness is Godliness
And God is empty
Just like me" - Smashing Pumpkins

The scary thing here is that not only did I quote from James Ingram, but I did it from memory too…

Anyway, I think it's obvious where my head's at, and what my life has been like for the last few days.
Thing is, it's all so complicated…
How does a boring, simple dork who works in the fascinating world of payroll, find himself in this soap opera?
I dunno.
But the pain is all too real, and that's what matters.

We did what we could, you know?
It's like, in our little world, life IS fucking awesome.
Thing is, unfortunately, our little world has a door that leads to that ass kicking behemoth known as The Real World, and damn it all to Hell, it's like the whole damn place had it in for us.
It was putting more and more of a drain on us when we would enter our little world, and too often that drain had a negative effect on our world's atmosphere.
Fucking A, I didn't realize I was writing a science fiction story…

Well, there was this one evil chimp…

Um, anyway, there just came a point where you get "sick and tired of being sick and tired", and you have to step back and take an inventory of your life.
Unfortunately that was when that Anne Robinson bitch had to show up and say, "you ARE the weakest link. Good bye…"

Somehow, although I know that'll change, I am optimistic…
And in a weird, twisted, disturbing realization that I do indeed need help, and plenty of it, I find it almost, what's the word…flattering?, that I am in a sort of Romeo and Juliet / star-crossed lovers type scenario.
Well, without the whole tragic, suicidal ending.
I guess…

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