Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Last day of January, but only my second journal entry.
Just haven't had much to say.
Been very depressed, for various reasons.
Considering how many people are around me, I feel like I'm always alone and isolated.
But the worst thing going on of course is SG's medical health situation.
I just can't wrap my head around it. The fact that such a great guy that had so much going on and so much to live for has been reduced to a semi-coherent bed ridden ghost of his true self. I've only visited him a few times so far, because it's heartbreaking and awkward. What do you do? What do you say?
And how the fuck can a so called loving and merciful God allow this...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

It's been almost a month since I update.
A lot has happened.
Nothing has changed.
Well, in general, things, as usual, have taken baby steps for the worse.

There is some good stuff:
My wonderful girlfriend continues to grow and thrive and is just an amazing person.
She truly never ceases to amaze me...

Beastly LOKI is 9 months old now, and much more than a handful...

My nephew is about to turn 14.
Man, I'm old

But there's the bad, too:
Saturday marks a year since my Father passed.
I've continued my bad ways by being a bad son even since his death.
I've visited his grave site very few times.
I'm not one to pray.
I can't strike up a conversation like they do in the movies where people stand or sit at their loved ones tomb and talk it up.
For the most part, I stand there and think to my self, "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry, Dad."
I hope that's enough for him...

The tragically ugly comes in the way that good old Scotty, a co-worker / buddy of mine of 39 years of age, suddenly and inexplicably had a stroke. Right now, I guess he's in what would be called, serious, but stable condition?
Truth is I don't know all that much about it right now, but from what I've heard, it was not a mild one.
How it happened, I dunno. Why it happened, I dunno. SG's a good guy. We're not really close, but I know him well enough to know he's a good, laid back guy with no ill will towards any body who's always ready to lend a helping hand. He's engaged to a great gal, with the wonderful name of Hope, and they're awesome together.
And he's an accomplished musician who's been in many bands, and was really looking forward to a new band he and his friend were working up.
It's not right, and though I'm not gonna go there right now,it just drives home my feelings about God and a lack there of.
I hope to who or whatever controls this universe, Scotty makes as close to a full recovery as humanly possible.