Sunday 10/29/00

"Well when I called her evil
She just laughed
And cast her spell on me
Boo Bitch Craft" - Type O Negative

I tried to update last night before midnight, but AOL crashed.

So I had a blind date of sorts last night.
It went well.
Weird thing is, we went to a place called Big Tomato in Pembroke Pines.
Now, I know my Pal Joey tends to eat there quite a bit, so imagine my surprise when I park the car and see a car that reminds me of his in the parking lot.
But it wasn't his...no, his car was in a different space! I felt a little weird about that, so I thought about going somewhere else. My friend said it was OK, so we went in anyway. Well, to keep the "small world" scenario running even longer, they sat us practically right next to Pal Joey and his, I dunno, date? I didn't know if I should get up and say hi, or just say "HI" really loud or something, so I just waited it out.
The boy never looked over! Then, when they left, they walked the other way, so they never saw us!
Weird, huh?

Anyway, I have a headache, and a lot of work to do for that fucking creative writing class, so I'm a go now.
I might be back later though...

Wednesday 10/25/00

Sheesh, I have nothing to say.
It hasn't been a particularly good week at work.
Nothing particularly new and exciting in my life.
Film class is cool. Creative Writing sucks your fucking ass.
And of course...there's still no love life (or sex life) to speak of.
Well, at least there's something to be said for consistency...

Sunday 10/22/00

"Here in a church, a small boy is kneeling
He prays to a god he does not know, he cannot feel
All of his sins of childhood, he will remember
He will not cry, tears he will not cry
A man of sorrows racked
With thoughts that dare not speak their name
Trapped inside a body, made to feel only guilt and shame
His anger all his life, “I hate myself”, he cried
“Do what thou wilt”
“Do what thou wilt”, he cried
Man of sorrows, I won’t see your face
Man of sorrows, you left without a trace
A small boy wonders, what was it all about?
Is your journey over? Has it just begun?"
- Excerpts from Bruce Dickinson's Man of Sorrows

I guess that says it all...except for that I updated the movie reviews...

Wednesday 10/18/00

"Nothing lasts forever but the Earth and sky" - Kansas

Actually, I guess even the Earth's not gonna last forever...

So I ate like a fucking pig at lunch time today.
I'm so proud.
I went with a married female coworker...it's kinda pathetic 'cause I spend the entire work day harrassing her with my pathetic and blatant flirting, but during the entire lunch hour it's all very reserved and well behaved.
I guess I'm weird that way.
She says she would never, ever cheat on her husband. I hope she means it.

So at school we had a sub again. Same class, same sub. She's actually very funny, in a wacky, quirky kinda way.
She gave us the assignment from hell though...read a Poe story or poem, and write a good paragraph proving why it is effective in it's "scariness".
But here's the kicker, then we have to do a 5 to 15 minute presentation about it.
Oy vey.
I'm all about public speaking.

So the wacky girl with a tongue (bar/spike, or ring as she calls it) pointed at her tits and told me, completely of her own volition, that they are real.
Quite abundant really.
She's quite the ham.
Ok, I'm done.

Monday 10/16/00

"Manic depression befriends me
Hear it's call
Sanity now is beyond me
There's no choice" - Ozzy

Tonight in Film History we saw two films:
A short by Luis Bunuel called Un Chien Andalou, and Rules Of The Game by Jean Renoir.
Chien was a surrealistic exercise in, I dunno, weirdness. No real story, just a bunch of weird shit, including a man slicing open a woman's eyeball. Lovely.
Rules of The Game was different. It's considered a comedy, but I found it dark and disturbing. And sorry, but it got me thinking about how disgusting humanity can be, and for the most part, is.
It's like, you can't trust anybody. The human race is so fucking petty, and deceitful, and just down right annoying. Yeah, yeah, there's some good people out there, but they're so few and far between.
"All the world is but a stage, and we are merely it's players"...that might not be word for word, but you get the idea of what Shakespeare said. The whole world is full of liars, putting on a show to get what they want; What they need.
Nobody really cares about anybody else.
God we suck.
Anyway, if you wanna be depressed (and you don't mind subtitles) check out Rules Of The Game.
But hey, at least the teacher still looked kinda hot...

In happier news, I received my mail order for Harry Potter 3 and Lord of The Vampires.
My reading list just grows and grows...

Sunday 10/15/00 PART TWO

Confusing, init?
I added a movie review to the movie section.

You know, talk about a small world...there's a new chick in the office. She's kinda hot I guess.
Turn's out she lives like 3 blocks away from me.
Weird, huh?

Sunday 10/15/00

"True!-nervous-very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am! but why will you say that I am mad?" - Edgar Allan Poe, The Tell-Tale Heart

That is as awesome of an opening line as ever there has been in any written format. Poe was a brilliant, if not pathetically disturbed individual.

Anyway, I saw Pay it Forward again last night. WOW, what an amazing movie. I was worried that seeing it again, especially so soon, would diminish my initial reaction, but no, I still found it amazing.
After the movie, we went to Chili's and pigged out. Damn, I have eaten so much shit this week!
The good thing is though, that since I actually went with a female, we could actually share a dessert
...you know, with out the homosexual innuendo...

There may be more to today's entry later...

Friday 10/13/00

"Ain't nothing working
Ain't nothing right
There's a hole in me
That I can't fill
No matter how hard I try
Hey bartender hit me with a double
And introduce me to that girl with the bubble
I'm looking for trouble tonight
No momma don't trust me tonight" - hed (pe)

I have no idea what hed (pe) stands for, or why it's written that way, but it's a damn catchy song...and quite appropriate tonight.
So tonight was Friday The 13th...oooh, spooky. Actually, it was a pretty good day over all.
Well, except maybe when I turned down a chickie just to hang with a (male) friend.

But then when hanging with my friend, we went to Longhorn (because I love steak damn it!) and I practically fell in love with the waitress (they're called servers nowadays, aint they?).
God, I really gotta get a grip and stop drooling over every pretty smile I see.
She knew I was tripping over her, and she was very nice about it, but then in the ultimate act of a desperate dork, I left her a short note and my cell phone number on the receipt.
I can just picture the group of servers sitting there laughing...

Wednesday 10/11/00

"I know she's playing with me
That's OK 'cause I've got no self esteem" - The Offspring

So my Creative Writing class was in session tonight...but with a sub!
I had no idea there were subs in college!
So basically we didn't do anything but bullshit for a half an hour and called it a day.
Well there was the part before class when it was only me and this one girl who basically insisted I look at her photo album with her.
Most of the pictures were of her and a friend at Disney World. It really made me miss Disney. Haven't been there in a while.
There were also some pictures of her and her friends getting drunk at a birthday party. She's 21.
Damn, I'm so fucking old.
There was also a picture of her licking her boyfriend's face.

Tuesday 10/10/00

I found Green Day Lyrics on line and it turns out these are the correct lyrics.
"I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
She says it's lack of sex thats bringing me down
I went to a whore
He said my life's a bore
So quit my whinin cuz its bringing her down"
Personally, I liked the way I remembered it much better.
I found them listed like that on two different sites, so...

Monday 10/9/00

"I went to a whore
And said my life's a bore
She said it'd lack of sex that's making me down" - Green Day

So at lunch time I went to the ATM (my home away from home really) but I was 3rd in line...
The idiot that was actually at the ATM did something that makes my blood run cold with fear...he stood in front of the ATM, and cocked his head to one side.
You know, the way a dog looks at you when you talk to him in complete sentences.
It's not that fucking hard to use an ATM. Jesus.
But then, the stupid bitch behind him, and in front of me of course, went up to the machine...much like a child with a shiny dime entering a candy store.
I swear to fucking God, she was at that fucking machine for at least 10 minutes.
Now I realize that's not a long time in the grand theme of things...but at an ATM that's a fucking eternity.
What's so fucking hard? I don't get it.
She must have walked away from that damn machine with three or four different receipts! When she got back into her car, she sat there reading over those receipts while I used the ATM in about a minute...you know, like a normal person.
I got back to my car, started it and left, and she still just sat there...
Somehow writing all that down seemed like a good idea.
I don't for the life of me know why.

Tonight in Film History class we watched It Happened One Night. It was pretty gosh darn funny. I don't think I've ever seen a Clark Gable movie (I've never had the impetus to sit through Gone With The Wind)
You know, my teacher's kinda hot.

Sunday 10/8/00

"We are but flesh and flesh is the weakness
We are born of blood, sinew and bone
We're all just spinning in this useless hole in time
On our way into the black unknown" - Nevermore

Well don't I feel old. Last night Joey and I went to Applebee's and had the good fortune to have this particularly cute and sweet server for the second time.
She's a real cutie…and her smile is priceless. Well, we all got to talking and it turns out she's only like 19 years old! Oy vey!
That's just wrong!

So anyway, it was a pretty good day over all.
I saw two really great movies, reviews of which are now available in the Movie Section.

Friday night was a different story. I was supposed to go out and who knows, maybe even have a good time, but no, Mother Nature is still on the rag!
I think it's safe to say we don't need rain in South Florida for at least a couple of months…
Actually, it's kinda sunny right now, so I think I'm gonna have to get off my lazy ass and go wash Icon the Akita, my severence pay from a relationship gone horribly awry.

Wednesday 10/4/00

"Satan, laughing, spreads his wings" - Black Sabbath

"Water, water, everywhere
And all the boards did shrink
Water, water, everywhere
But not a drop to drink" - Samuel Taylor Coleridge (and Maiden too, natch.)

It sure did rain a whole lot. Got me outta work too. Well, actually, I worked for about an hour and a half. Just me and my boss. The rest of the office stayed home. Scuzballs.

Hi, my name is AJ and I don't wanna be here.

I'm starting to think maybe I should just go and get help.
I don't wanna. I really don't wanna.
Fuck...I don't know what to do...

"Old habits reappear
Fighting the fear of fear
Growing conspiracy
MYSELF is after me
Frayed ends of Sanity
Hear them calling me" - Metallica

Monday 10/2/00

What a fucked up day!
I started in a very good mood, despite knowing that work was gonna suck.
And suck indeed it did.
My good mood soon disappeared as I sat and tried to learn the new payroll system, putting aside all my regular work to do so. I also had to skip lunch because the representative that was there to walk us through it didn't have all day to dilly dally. Bitch.
Anyway, by the end of MY day I was a belligerent asshole. I will have to apologize to many people tomorrow...but then again I will very likely be in a bad mood tomorrow too since I have all of today's work to finish!
The upshot of my ugly day was that since I missed lunch, I left early. Woo fucking hoo!

Then I go to school for my Film History class. Since I got there so early I tried to make up on some text book reading since class was cancelled last week.
When we went into class to get started, the teacher wasn't there yet, so we got to talking all kinds of shit.
Then a security guard came in and said the teacher would be about 30 minutes late. We all groaned and laughed and bitched, but we didn't leave. Instead we started talking more and more shit, and I have to say that I had a fucking blast. There are some funny ass mother fuckers in that class!
Finally the teacher comes in...an hour and 5 minutes late...and we give her a rousing hand of applause. She played along and bowed and it was all good. Then she told us how she had a family emergency last week and then how she had been hectic all weekend pitching ideas at a hip hop conference. Turn's out that she may start writing some flicks for rappers such as Mystikal. At least I think that's how Mystikal spells his name.
She's actually a pretty cool teacher. Younger than me. Of course. Bitch.
Nah, she's cool.
She showed us The Cabinet of Dr Caligari, a 1920 German Expressionist silent film.
Let me tell you something, there must have been some potent ass crack in Germany in 1920. Seriously, that was a fucked up movie. BUT, it did have a semi-cool look that must have seriously influenced Tim Burton and a score of other film makers.
Anyway, this journal entry has gone on way too fucking long, and I didn't even put in a quote...

Sunday 10/1/00

"I can't remember anything
Can't tell if this is true or dream
Deep down inside I feel to scream
This terrible silence stops me" - Metallica

Well it's a new month and a whole new attitude here at AJ's Little Piece of Misery!

Same old misplaced teenage angst (15 years too late); All hatred, all the time.

Anyway I bought a whole shit load of shit because that's what I do when I'm bitter and unhappy.
Suffice it to say I tend to buy a whole lot of shit all the time.
Actually, I remember this funny stand up comedian, Dana Gould, who once said that he bought a lot of stuff when he was depressed too.
"My life sucks, but if I just by this lamp, maybe things'll get better"
That might not be an exact quote, but it's close enough. Besides his delivery made it funnier, so fuck you.

So anyway, I bought a DVD player, along with the adapter thingy because my old fashioned TV wasn't ready for DVD technology.
I bought the Fight Club 2 Disc DVD. It was on sale. It's not my favorite movie, but it's definitely worth seeing again.
I also bought a bunch of books, apart from 2 that I ordered online. I got a Vampire novel called Gothique. I got another Vampire novel, this one also doing what seems to be a trend; using characters from Dracula in a whole new way. It's called The Angry Angel. I like the title…
I also bought an Edgar Allan Poe paperback, because I need to read some shit for school. Pal Joey lent me this really nice, behemoth volume of all Poe's writings, but it's too big and to fancy lug around, or read at lunch. It would be ugly if I got a big old ketchup stain on The Raven now, wouldn't it?
I bought a bargain book hardcover of Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. I have no idea what it is or what it's about, but it seems to be an important book, and a semi-popular one too. I figure I can't just read all horror all the time, but I try…besides Natalie Portman is reading it in Mars Attacks …heh.
And, I bought The Exorcist.
Oh boy. My greatest fear?
I have avoided that movie like the plague. Just a moment's exposure to that little girl's grotesque face can give me a sleepless night. Now with the re-release of the movie, The Version You Haven't Seen, I feel compelled to see it, to face my fears. But as usual the Big Wimp inside me said no, no, no.
So I bought the book. I'm hoping that reading it will demystify the movie for me, and then I could see it on DVD or something.
Here's to hoping.

So I've said this a million times, but work will be ugly this week. We are changing payroll systems on a payroll week. I'm having these horrible visions of people screaming at me because they didn't get their Direct Deposit or checks on time!
UGH, it will not be a good time.

I guess that's it for now. Pretty pathetic huh?
Yeah, tell me about it…