JUNE 2007

Friday, June 29, 2007

My girlfriend is a home owner again.
She's been one before, but had been a renter for the last few years (all the while I've known her)
But now, on her own, she's a home owner again. I'm very proud of her, and very happy for her.


You knew there was a BUT coming...
Everything that comes along with her new purchase / investment brings with it a lot of guilt and negative feelings for me. There's a lot for me to process, digest, accept, and live with. That probably sounds very selfish and self-centered, but "it is what it is".
I just wonder what the new few months will bring...

Monday, June 18, 2007

So it was an ugly weekend overall.
Well, some of it was nice.
But yeah...

Sunday morning my girlfriend and I are having breakfast at IHOP and since it was just us two, they sat us at one of those tiny tables that are very close to the other tiny tables. Anyway, a couple come in with their two or three year old kid. The father is carrying said kid, who hits both my glass of milk and my gal's glass of diet soda with his foot, knocking them both down in front of my gal, splashing her with both liquids. The glasses then roll of the small table, shattering on the floor, and splashing her again, this time maybe even with some broken glass.
Her and I stand up, she starts to wipe down a bit, restaurant folk start coming over and helping, cleaning, and apologizing, etc.
All the while, the couple whose said child caused the commotion, are just looking at us like if we're the stupidest animals on the planet. Finally, my girlfriend, who was already dressed for a Father's Day church thing and would have to go home and shower again and change her clothes, looks at the mother, who still hasn't said a word, and tells her, nicely, that the boy had hit the glasses.
The restaurant people had us move over to the next table. Our waitress kept apologizing.
I was so mad I wanted to hurt the man. I wanted to grab the woman by her shirt and scream in her face that she owed my girlfriend an apology.
But they never said a word.
Fucking amazing...

Anyway, later on we went to church because somebody in her extended family is a part time pastor and he would be giving a sermon on Father's Day, etc.
This was not a pleasant experience for me, as I'm not a churchgoer, and the hypocrisy on dislay at any given chirch on any given Sunday sickens me (the same people who curse like sailors, drink like fish, and fuck like rabid moneky's on speed all week are suddenly all emotional and repentant and holding their hands up to God, awaiting absolution...which reminds me, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. White folks have no business holding their hands up to pray. What's that about? Do your hands become signal dishes so your God can hear your prayers in digital quality? Please. Put your head down and fold your hands in front of you and shut up about it.)
Anyway, no it didn't go well, as I felt the whole thing went on too long, and it was uncomfortably warm in there, making me very uncomfortable as I prefer to be cold than even a little warm.
And then there was the fact that the sermon itself was highlighting all my faults as a human being and specifically a "father", cuz even though I'm not a father, I do sort of, kind of have the title of "step dad in training" hovering over my head...