JULY 2004

Saturday, July 31, 2004

I finally reviewed a new movie. My first since July 4!
Actually, I meant to see another flick today too, but I just didn't feel like driving to Miami Beach (UGH!) to see Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster. I'm hoping maybe the movie will expand to a closer theater, but I kinda doubt it will...

Yesterday was my Dad's 71st B-Day...

Well, fuck, just like that, July is bye-bye...

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

I've been sick for a while, and while I definitely feel better now, I can tell that in reality, whatever made me sick is still in my system, causing slow starts in the morning, coughing, etc. It kinda scares me because I know I'm far from being the picture of health, and I just know that if I went for a check up at the doctor's office, they'd tell me how fucked up I really am, thus causing me to either start trying to take care of myself in earnest, or worse yet, feel guilt for knowing for sure that I'm slowly but surely killing myself with my shitty way of living my life.

I also still think almost daily about how if I finally did go to a shrink that they'd also reveal just how fucked up I am and again, I'd have to make some serious life changes or risk killing myself, one way or another.

It sure aint easy being me, but then, it aint being most of the people I know.

Friday, July 16, 2004

The fact that I am a very sensitive, easily addicted person has hit me over the head ths week.
You give me a little on a semi-regular basis, and I get so used to it, it's scary.
But you take that away from me, and damn, I'm a scared, petulant child crying for more, more, more!
It bothers me that I can be so emotional and so not practical.
But at the same time, it's all I know and I'd really rather not change...
...just get a better grasp on my life.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Well, itís been a humdinger of a weekend.
The oft mentioned emotional roller coaster reached a multitudes of highs and lows, and quite frankly I have no idea where I stand right now, personally or at work.
Iím very appreciative of the people who took care of me this weekend, from my B-Day to today, offering all kinds of fun and food stuffs and most importantly, just their company. Iím honored and humbled.

Unfortunately the work situation gets worse daily, and any good times I have outside the office seem to disappear once Iím back on the insideÖ
Sad, really.

Sunday, July 4, 2004

So it's July 4th, and I say Bah Fucking Humbug!
No, not because I'm not patriotic, but because the assholes that will be blowing shit up outside my window don't give a fuck that today represents America's independence. No, all they care is that today they can blow shit up.
Firecrackers, M-80s, et al.
All night long. Outside my fucking window. Bang, bang, fucking bang.
Very annoying.

Just got back from Tampa today, where my "local" sister and I visited my other sister and her family. I love seeing my niece and nephew, and was happy to help celebrate my niece's B Day (it's not til Saturday, but we couldn't make it up there then), but as usual all the good will and good intentions in the world can't help, and by the time we leave, there's all kinds of weirdness going on.