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I JUST GOTTA VENT
AUGUST 2000

Tuesday 8/29/00

Look, no quote!
So in a pathetic attempt to unpiss off my sister, I sent her flowers at work.
Hope she's there to receive them...
My other sister, and her two kids arrived yesterday. Those kids seem to really love seeing me. It's all very flattering.
They call me Uncle Hairy...
School last night was a mess! All in all there was probably only half an hour of actual class time after all the room changes and other shit had to go down.
Basically we'll be watching and discussing movies all semester. So I paid $150 to do something I usually do for about $5 bucks on the weekends. Oh well.
Actually, I wanna get in good with the Professor. Not because she's young...probably younger than me...but because she teaches Film Writing as well, and if this class and my Creative Writing class go well, I want in for next semester.
Surprisingly upbeat journal entry to possibly end August huh?
Well, just in case, FUCK YOU!

Sunday 8/27/00

"It's hard for me to say I'm sorry" - Chicago
That pathetic quote is for my sister...

I really don't feel like writing.
I'm frustrated as hell, and I don't feel like getting into it.

I don't feel like writing a "review" either, so I'll just say that Bring It On was not a good movie, but the visuals provided by Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku, and basically every female in that movie were outrageous!
Actually, my favorite was this one stunning brunette, who I guess plays a little rich girl in the movie.
Wow, what a looker! I'm sorry, but I don't know her name, or even her character's.
Wow.

Friday 8/25/00

"Cuz I’m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Nothing’s alright
Nothing is fine
I’m running and I’m crying" - Papa Roach

I basically made a fool of myself today, and it really pisses me off.
She was the last person I expected to see, but there She was...uninvited, but not entirely unwelcome
She took me to lunch (I let her pay...sometimes payback comes in small allotments)...not that I could eat anything.
She still has that much power over me.
We actually had a nice time...except for the fact that I couldn't keep my hands off her.
And though I know deep down inside She liked it, She remained in control...and I, once again, was the pitiful pursuer.

Fuck

Well, the weekend can only get better from here...

Wednesday 8/23/00

"She was meant to be wild
He was nearly a child
But they only could feel each other
They were paper and fire
Angel and liar
The devil of one another" - Ronnie James Dio

Well, I'm at work again.
I really shouldn't be doing this here...
Naughty Naughty

So tonight I start school again.
It's been a LONG time, and as you can probably imagaine, I am BEYOND nervous.
I'm only taking two classes, each one meeting once a week.
They ARE classes I think I SHOULD be able to enjoy...Creative Writing and History of Film.
I know, I know, not exactly hardcore scholar shit, but fuck you.
Baby steps Mo-fo...baby steps.

So it looks like this FUCKING Hurricane wants to come fuck up the weekend.
Fucking Miami in the summer! My sister and her kids should be coming down from NC this weekend, so Mother Nature couldn't be any more fucking annoying right about now!
I guess I'll just have to hope for the best, which of course I'm so fucking good at...the power of positive thinking, that is...

Well, I finished Harry Potter Year 2.
I enjoyed it well enough, but I am a little troubled.
I won't get into it just yet though, and I'm sure I'll get the next paperback the very day it becomes available...

Saturday 8/19/00

"Your memory casts a shadow
Your shadow walks with me
Your voice is now a whisper
I hear it endlessly
You haunt my every discretion
Your vision draws my attention
I break when your name is mentioned" - Dee Snider / WidowMaker

So it's been a weird weekend so far, but I freely admit that it's probably pretty much over now.
Friday night I went with "Jedi" and saw a band play at a club/sports bar.
That's weird enough for me, but the kicker is that I sat with two coworkers to watch the band play…and they are the last people I would have ever expected myself to find myself in a social non-work environment with.
The band is called Cry Wolf and they play old Rock and Roll and Blues stuff.
Not really my cup of tea, but not at all Jedi's cup of tea, so I really appreciated him going with me.
The guitarist in the band is a good friend of the coworkers I mentioned, and he's really good. He even played Stevie Ray Vaughn's Pride & Joy note for note!
That aint just whistling dixie!
Anyway, I never really felt awkward, and I would have stayed longer if it wasn't for my guilt trip over Jedi probably being bored outta his head. By the time we left a third coworker showed up with his lady friend.
I left just in time…it was about to get kinda awkward…but also more interesting.
Too bad…maybe next time.

Today has been an expensive day for me.
Fucking A I spend way too much money…
I saw two VERY different movies today.
Yeah, by myself…LOSER!
Anyway, I posted my "review" of The Cell in the Movie Section.
The other movie won't be getting a review. It's Godzilla 2000, and it is truly pathetic.
I knew I was gonna see a bad movie, but I thought I was going to see a bad movie that knew it was a bad movie, and in fact relished that fact!
Sadly, Godzilla 2000 takes itself quite seriously, making all the bad special effects, dubbing and dialogue ("that will go through Godzilla like crap through a goose"!) seem all the more pathetic.
Well, here's to the rest of the weekend…

Thursday 8/17/00

"Master, Master
Where are those dreams that I've been after
Master, Master
Promised only lies
Laughter, Laughter
All I hear or see is laughter
Laughter, Laughter
Laughing at my cries" - Metallica

So I'm at work again.
Nothing better to do.
Actually have no reason to update this right now.
The only thing I can say is that I have inded started Harry Potter Year 2, because while I was enjoying my Sonja Blue Collection, it's just that, a collection of three novellas, so when I finished the first story, Sunglasses After Dark, I decided I'd jump to Potter before going back and finishing the Sonja Blue stuff.

Fuck. Just how long was that last sentence?

So I might do something fucked up tonight...or maybe tomorrow night.
Well definitely by Saturday night...it shall be done.
AJ has spoken...

Wednesday 8/16/00

"...All the promises you made to me you made in vain
I lost myself in your tainted smile again" - Staind

I'm doing this from work.
Not the best idea, but it's early, so I'm not on the clock.
So I've been trying to change a lot of stuff lately.
But so far, it seems kind of fake...like I'm trying too hard to change, and for all the wrong reasons.
But I will try my best to finish whatever it is I've started.

I got the new Harry Potter paperback. It'll probably be a while before I can get to it though.
I saw the X-Men again last night. Great fucking movie!
My old friend "Jedi" finally made it back to Miami. He'd been with family in his home land for almost three months. It was really good to see him again.
It seems his trip did him a whole lot of good.
I'm really glad for him.

Sunday 8/13/00

"What does it mean to you
To me it's something I just do
I need something
I need to feel the sickness in you" - KoRn
So it was supposed to be a good weekend.
Had a good Friday night, that included a great meal with The Chuban at Longhorn, with a big old steak that was outrageous.
Saturday started very promising. I went up to my cousin's place, and we went to this cool Expo thing.
We watched this band play. They were called Chumly's Toy. The singer was this rather normal looking chick, but she kinda turned me on.
She had a great voice, and while she was what you may call "voluptuous", she had all the right moves.
Their finale really blew me away...they actually played "Ice, Ice Baby". It was amazing! She rapped all the lyrics just like Vanilla Ice did, but the guitarist played the riff from System of a Down's "Sugar"!
It was SO cool!
Anyway, I actually grew some balls and talked to her after their set. I asked her about the band's name, which I knew came from a cartoon, but couldn't remember which.

Well, when all that was said and done, Cuz and I totally pigged out at this awesome Chinese Buffet place up there in Broward.
DAMN, that was some good shit!
But after that is when I fucked up...while waiting to go see a movie (we were both hyped to see X-Men again)I made the mistake of checking my voice mail.
There she was, something about an accident, and sounding like shit...and though she didn't ask anything of me, I blew off my Cuz and took off all the way down south.
All the way to a hospital that I do not like, for reasons I won't get into.
Bottom line is she was basically OK, and I blew off my cousin for all the wrong reasons.
Sorry dude.

Today I saw The Replacements.
I'm not really in the mood to write a review, but it was exactly what you would expect.
An extremely far fetched, predictable, but entertaining and funny movie.

Thursday 8/10/00

"I've been looking for the daughter of the Devil himself
I've been searching for an Angel in white
I've been looking for a woman that's a little of both
I can feel her but she's nowhere in sight" - The Eagles
So I'm listening to Blind Guardian because I can.
No seriously, I'm a little worried about my "musical regression".
I mean, here I am at 32, and lately I'm listening to the kinda music teens listened to in the 80's.
We're talking Dungeons and Dragons Metal. Not even hair band metal, which I shoulda outgrown forever ago too.
But no, I'm really getting into all this music I've experimented with lately. Some of the bands seem to have "satanic" gimmicks, but that's all they are, gimmicks.
So I'm not exactly worried about committing crimes in the name of some dark prince or nothing...

I took the Loser webring banner down from the home page.
They never replied to my submission. Actually, I think it's now defunct.
I would like to join a site appropriate webring...hell, I may have to start me own...

Monday 8/7/00

Um, I DON'T think you wanna read THIS

Sunday 8/6/00

"Why must you be such an angry young man
Your future looks quite bright to me" - Styx
Well, this weekend sucked huh?
Actually I got a lot done, thanks totally to the help of my friend, The Chuban!
He went far above and beyond the call of duty, and I owe him big!
I'm listening to Trans Siberian Orchestra's CD, Beethoven's Last Night.It's really grown on me! It's very "Broadway" musical sounding, but it still has a bit of an edge to it.
I rented a flick called The Ninth Gate. It aint that good, so I'll give something away...SPOILER AHEAD!
The Devil's a chick.
How fucking appropriate...
Other than that, nothing's changed, and I'm still miserable, and I still hate most everything and most everyone, and the world can still kiss my ass, and fuck you and you and you.
And so on and so forth.
Nice talking at ya.

Saturday 8/5/00

"How do I feel?
What do I say?
Fuck you.
It all goes away"- System Of A Down
So I don't have much to say except it's another Saturday night stuck at home.
Actually, I was very productive today, but tomorrow will be the real test.

By the way, if this is what a nervous breakdown feels like, I want no part of it...

Tuesday 8/1/00

Welcome to August.
So today at work I was moved from the relative security of my semi-hidden back corner work area, to right smack up front.
I behaved surprisingly upbeat and hospitable. I even let my office "enemy" take me to lunch...hell, he was oaying, right?
It's storming like a bitch outside, so I better go...

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