Yesterday I pissed off a co-worker so much that she was literally crying out of frustration. She said that she was fed up with the way I've been treating her, which in her words, I've been " a son of a bitch" to her.
I felt kind of bad about the whole thing.
Worse thing is, at this point I hardly remember why I started treating her like she was less than dirt. I kinda know what sparked it, but that was like a month ago.
It's weird. I'm so fucking bipolar that I can't stop making jokes one day, and the next day I don't talk at all, and bark when I'm talked to.
(Not literally, but that has been known to happen too)
So I'm surprised I still have a job here.
These people must be tired of me.
I sure as hell am...

SUNDAY 8/25/02

I guess I can't complain. Two movies and a concert, plus lunch and dinner with friends...
And the weekend's not even officially over just yet...

FRIDAY 8/23/02

I was FINALLY able to update the music section, and with GOOD REASON!

TUESDAY 8/20/02

So in New York, a bear steals a 5 month old baby out of her carriage and runs off with her before dropping her and trying to run away from a crowd of horrified men and women.
How the fuck can that happen?
I mean think about it...it's like a bad cable movie.
A killer bear...a baby killer at that!
Normally I feel bad for the animals, and say fuck the people, you know?
But an innocent, absolutely defenseless 5 month old baby?
This is tragic.
How can these parents ever come to terms with the fact that a bear killed their baby.
I dunno, I'm really disturbed by this.


You know, when you have nothing else going, eye contact with an attractive female can really make your day.
Jesus, how fucking sad is that.
So I was having lunch and this lady walks in. Iím old dude, at this point, theyíre ladies. Not girls. Not even chicks.
So this lady walks in with her daughter. Again, Iím old, and I have to face it, ďallĒ the ladies are married with children, or maybe divorced with children.
Wait, is that sickeningly sweet violin music playing in the background?
So yeah, she walks in and instantly Iím mesmerized.
Sheís not a supermodel, not by a long shot, but still, sheís beautiful.
So I try not to be obvious. Shit, I hope I wasnít too obvious, but I guess I was kinda obvious, right? But the thing is she looked at me too.
Now come on, she wasnít checking me out. I understand this, but still, when such an attractive female looks at you it just feels good, you know?
I mean, for all I know she was looking at me in disgust because I WAS looking at her too much. But it didnít look like an angry look at all.
OR, maybe, she thought she recognized me, because I thought I kinda recognized her too but couldnít even begin to tell you where from.
I dunno.
I dunno why Iím even writing all this down.
Prolly because I almost made a fool of myself.
I almost said something to her.
It would have been a mistake, but I almost did.
I wanted to though. BADLY.
It wouldnít have been rude. No, not at all.
When you look like me your practically offending people by default so you donít really need to be pushing your luck any further!
Nah, it would have been something kind of nice, and actually sincere, but luckily I held my tongue and walked out.

But a guy can dream, canít he?

SUNDAY 8/11/02

Another thrilling weekend doing NOTHING!
Woo Hoo.
So I watched a bunch of moviesÖ
Theatrically I saw SIGNS again, and I must say I liked it a lot more this time. I decided against changing my rating, but I did like it more.
I also saw SPY KIDS 2, which proved to be as disappointing as I figured itíd be.
I rented The Mighty, because I wanna read Freak The Mighty again, so I thought Iíd see the movie again. I also decided to see X-MEN again since it had been a while.
Most importantly to me, I saw Wide Awake again, thatís pre-Sixth Sense M. Night Shyamalan. Itís a family-ish flick, but I like it a lot. God, His presence, or lack there of, seems to be on Nightís mind quite a bitÖ

Well, workís gonna be messy this week. One of the support staffís on vacation, so we all get more phone calls to answer and more applicants to deal with, etc. Joy.

TUESDAY 8/6/02

I'm a really big wimp. A wussy. A scaredy cat. (Hmm, I just realized I have no idea how to spell "scaredy cat"!)
Anyway, I say this because when I dream at night, I always wake up before anything really bad happens. This applies to real nightmares, you know, like horror movie dreams with death or killers or demons, etc, and it also applies to bad dreams, realistic dreams with an ugly truth to them.
So it would stand to reason that I would keep sleeping like a baby during a good dream...right?
Then WHY, WHY pray tell did I have to wake up during a dream where I was KISSING NATALIE PORTMAN!!!
That is just so not right!
God, what weird dream...such a strange collection of characters, culminating in hanging out with the most beautiful actress in the universe...

In other news, I'm about half way through The Dangerous Lives Of Alter Boys a novel that so far totally blows away the recent MOVIE ADAPTATION.
Written by Chris Fuhrman, and unfortunately released posthumously, DLOAB is a really great book (so far anyway). This man had a great talent for putting to paper those amazing feelings young people have as they discover life.
Think the great narration of TV's The Wonder Years, but with an R Rating.
Really great stuff, and it's a shame that Fuhrman died of cancer at the too young age of 31. Who knows what greatness he was capable of.