I JUST GOTTA VENT
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Last day of the month.
At home, miserable; waste of a long weekend...
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
If it wasn't for the fact that I already know how fucking stupid I am, I would constantly be amazed at how incredibly stupid I am, and what a mess I have made of myself and my life.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The frustration grows. I'm just so bitter. I wanna bark at somebody if not just rip their head off. Frustration reaches its peak and I just want to break something. A mirror would be a good start, since its reflection is the biggest problem...
Thursday, August 14, 2008
For years people have been telling me I should be a writer. These people mean well, but they're wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, but, I just don't have it in me. The other day the convo came up about being 40 and not having goals and not being a grown up, and once again I was asked why don't I try writing.
Well, because I've got nothing.
Some very nice people have asked me to contribute to a blog they started,
SECRET BLOGS OF CELEBS.
They all work very hard on it, but so far I've only contributed two very short and pointless pieces. They're not asking me to write the next great American novel, just short comedic riffs, and still, I've got nothing. I can't seem to ever take something past the initial, minute germ of an idea, whether for that blog, or for a short story, or even when I thought maybe I could slap together a really bad B Movie.
I can't seem to do it. Can't really seem to do much of anything.
Monday, August 11, 2008
So I've had a lot of time to think lately. Of course when left to my thoughts, nothing good can happen. But I can accurately report that all those negative things I constantly say about myself are one hundred percent true. This weekend I listened to a good person talk. The words that were said, the thoughts that inspired them. Amazing. The amount of work and effort and selflessness one person can put into life, juxtaposed with me in all my failure and apathy. Fucking A. I can't even fathom the amount of work, and more likley the miracles, required to save me from myself.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
It's your special day.
I'm sorry I can't be with you.
You know I wish I could be.
And you know I love you.