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I JUST GOTTA VENT
SEPTEMBER 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Well, my feelings from last Friday are basically the same.
Very down right now. It's a pendulum, you know?
It goes up and down, and right now it's definitely down.
What sucks is that a lot of times it seems the pendulum swings quite the lot on the same day, and that's not fun to handle.
Bottom line, everything sucks...
Friday, September 19, 2008
I'm tired of being depressed.
I'm tired of being angry.
I'm tired of having no motivation.
I'm tired of being obsessed.
I'm just tired of everything.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
The phone rings...is it you?
Are you calling?
My life collapses around me, but you're all I can think about...
Friday, September 12, 2008
Feeling overwhelmed by emotion. Not a good feeling.
Right now, the strongest emotion is hate. I truly hate myself.
Last night I spoke with a friend who's had a pretty rough life, and the last year has really kicked his ass. As he spoke at length about all of the shit he was dealing with, and how overwhelmed he's been, I felt so incredibly guilty. I sit here and "cry" about my life (or lack there of) all the time, knowing full well my only problem is me. I'm the fuck up who hasn't worked to fix it.
But this poor guy, all his problems have been thrown at him. He doesn't deserve any of them.
I kept telling him he was gonna pull through all of it and be all the stronger for it, and obviously, I truly hope he does. He deserves to finally catch a break and be happy.
I don't.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Of all my many, many mistakes...of all my fuck ups...losing her...that's the worst.
She gave me a chance I never deserved, and I threw it all away.
Now, of course, I want to beg her for yet another chance, but I know it's too late.
All Hope Is Gone.
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