By the time I saw The Time Machine, I had almost no interest in it what so ever. But boredom being what it is, sure enough I spent my five bucks (thank God for matinees) and no, it really wasn’t worth it.

"Crappy", said one movie goer.
No, really, that’s what he said.

Anyway, Guy Pearce stars in this update / remake of what is by all accounts a much better original film, in turn based on the classic story by H. G. Wells. Curiously, the film is basically directed by H.G.’s great grandson, Simon Wells. I say basically because something happened while making this film, and another director, Mouse Hunt’s and THE MEXICAN’s Gore Verbinski, stepped in, but to what extent, I’m not sure. Whatever the case, it’s the visuals and direction that save this movie from completely sucking, because it sure aint the dialogue, or the very thin premise that never really gets resolved in a matter that I found satisfactorily at all.

Why Guy Pearce took this role is beyond me. He’s coming off the critically acclaimed MEMENTO, and also has the great L.A. Confidential under his belt. He could do much better than inferior action / sci-fi, but I guess a paycheck’s a paycheck. Still he is good, as always, especially considering what little he has to work with.
Samantha Mumba is in this film, and all I can really say about her is that she’s kinda hot.
Look, I never claimed to be a REAL movie reviewer…

Inexplicably, also in this film is Jeremy Irons.
Hello, didn’t Jeremy Irons used to have a pretty good reputation?
Well, after this movie, oh and let’s not forget Dungeons & Dragons, he may not have even a little bit of a good rep left.
At least here he has this weird, Brom-like quality to his appearance.
For the uninitiated, Brom is a very talented dark fantasy artist whose phantasmagorical work adorns horror and sci-fi books among other medium.

Anyway, I walked in thinking the worst for The Time Machine, but came away slightly impressed, but that in no way means I really enjoyed this film or would recommend it to anybody, unless they’re just really bored too.