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I JUST GOTTA VENT
NOVEMBER 2005

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

So my "anger and attitude issues" have gotten worse and worse.
The new lady I've been seeing isn't sweet and soft like the old one. This one's kinda in your face and kinda makes me feel like I'm a dumbass when I do the things I do.
Thing is, I already know I'm being a dumbass when I react the way I react to things. The reason I'm even talking to her or taking those friggin' meds is because I don't wanna react that way.
Maybe it IS behavioral, but if it is, it's brought on by the chemical.
Either way it sucks, and I fear it'll only get worse before it gets better.
But at what cost?

Friday, November 11, 2005

I went to the dentist this week.
First time in 13 years.
I know that's terrible, and I was worried, Hell, I was sure, that my mouth as a big old mess and I was gonna have to replace all my teeth, etc.
Somehow, I emerged with only one filling. Shocking. The dentist, a small little female of indeterminable age since she wore some strange visor hat - mask combo, said there were two other points to "monitor", but only one cavity. She also shocked me by saying I have beautiful teeth...obviously a testament to the fact the dentist should not smoke crack prior to examining patients teeth. My teeth are UGLY! But, I think she actually meant in terms of dental health, not appearance.

My backyard fence still lies flat since Wilma The Bitch knocked it down.
Of all my faults and imperfections, one of the things I'd fix if I could was the fact that I've never been the handy man's man type. I never had a father figure that was handy around the house, and so I never learned any household repair type stuff. Ditto for auto maintenance. I really suck. It brings me down.

Actually I've been very down lately, a result of various variables, most prominent the change in my meds. I just fucking hate everything and everybody and am more irritable than a body has a right too. I feel so empty. It's fucking nauseating.
I feel like I'm sitting in a dark room, and the light switch is sitting right there on the wall, but I just don't know how to stand up and switch it on...

Thursday, November 3, 2005

November already...

Yesterday I turned on the power surge thingy that my computer is plugged into, and I heard an audible POP and I saw a small but definite flash and voila, no computer.
It's always something, aint it?

So things are pretty normal at this point after Fucking Wilma, but there are still a lot of traffic lights out and a LOT of trees and other debris line the sides of the roads.
It aint pretty.

Aside from that, I really have nothing to say.

Dolphins aint exactly setting the world on fire.

I'm listening to Coheed and Cambria's The Second Stage Turbine Blade, which if I understand correctly is a rerelease of their first CD. So far it isn't as cool as IV, but I hope it grows onme like that one did.

Something I am really digging is Avenge Sevenfold's City Of Evil!.
God damn it, can you say double guitar!?!
Probably some of the coolest dual axing since Iron Maiden and Helloween!
With their Good Charlotte-ish looks, I'm sorry I ever judged these guys by their "cover". They freaking rock!

OK, back to work...

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