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I JUST GOTTA VENT
MAY 2001

Wednesday 5/30/01
"Stupid people do stupid things
Smart people outsmart each other
Then themselves
Then themselves" - System of a Down

I'm in a terrible mood.

I had an ugly ass day at work, where I was yelled at by over zealous temps, and I had to keep grabbing the fucking phone, and I was laughed at due to my reaction to said over zealous temps, which was to bitch back at them.
I'm one of those people who can't be a bad ass to save his life...when I'm mad, I just come off as a pissy little bitch.
Very hard to garner any respect...

And the fucking people I work with...
Fucking A, I will never understand "business" people.
Even the pretty good ones, the ones that CAN actually show a human side occasionally, are nothing more than soulless parasites with dollar signs in their eyes and red ink in their veins.
They care about nothing but the bottom fucking line, and would step on a newborn baby's fucking head if it meant getting across that fucking finish line first.

Well you know what, fuck them.
They don't deserve anything good or happy in their miserable, shallow imitation of lives.

Fuck, enough about that.

In other news, I finally took my walk today...the first time in about a week's time...
Gelatinous lazy-assed glutton!
Thy name is PIG...

Tuesday 5/29/01
"Shadows listen carefully
And question what it means" - Savatage

So the long weekend turned out OK.
Well, except for maybe when a friend and I returned to "that club".
This in turn opened the flood gates between some one I care about and myself.
It's never easy...

Wow, I haven't been that vague in a while...

But on the plus side I'm at work now, where it's hot as fuck, and I'm gonna have a ton of work due to having yesterday off, and the fucking server is down, so I can't work the normal way.
Oh yeah, and I'm working on 3 and a half hours of sleep...

Still, the fact that I now have a new action figure on my computer monitor, along side of Edward Scissorhands, makes me feel a little better.
It's Cesar, The Somnabulist from the 1919 German Silent Movie classic, The Cabinet of Dr Caligari.
That was a fucked up movie. It was like, the first Tim Burton movie...but of course Tim Burton wasn't born yet, or German for that matter.
Anyway, it's a really cool figure of what basically looks like a dead guy.
And to make it cooler, it came with a Burtonesque diorama to stand the action figure in, but I'm not using that here at work. It also brought a twisted street light, and the piece de resistance, a dead chick.
OK, she's not really dead, I think she too is just in a DEEP sleep, but still, how cool is that?

Friday 5/25/01
"Morning comes too early
And night time falls too late" - Dream Theater

Wow, I really have nothing to say.
But although I have nothing special planned, I have high hopes for this long weekend.
Unfortunately, no new movie for me this week, as I will not be seeing Pearl Harbor, though I suspect the rest of the world will...

Sunday 5/20/01
"I'm too old to be living this
Lived too long to be given this
Can our God be forgiving this" - Savatage

OK, so I had a pretty good weekend…
My crazy cousin HC and I went to Orlando and saw SAVATAGE perform at the House of Blues! Woo FUCKING Hoo!
Then we went to EPCOT Center…spent nine hours and way too much money, but it was a lot of fun.
Then I saw SHREK, a great fucking movie!
By the way, I think I made the MOVIE SECTION a little neater…

But with the good comes the bad, so last night I didn't really do anything so I crashed early and woke up way too early today thinking nothing but bad thoughts about my financial situation and my socio-economic status as a (non)productive member of this civilization…
Specifically how I have to look for a new car insurance ASAP and how I really need to change my cell phone plan, because the current plan makes no allowance to my slight improvement of a social / love life and so my latest bill was for almost three times the usual amount.
Blech.

Oh yeah, I finished that book, The Angry Angel, so I'm about to start a new one… OK, I guess that's it.
Fuck, I'm tired…

Wednesday 5/16/01
"Poets and madmen
They all defy reason..." - Savatage

Um, all I can say is, phew.

Sunday 5/13/01
"Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes" - Incubus

The XFL is dead.
Long live the XFL...

Wow. I have absolutely nothing to say.
I did post a new movie review in the movie section…
OK, I have to go pay bills, and clean up a bit.
Company's a coming…

Thursday 5/9/01
"Jesus Christ looks like me" - Type O Negative

So last week I had a blood test.
I decided safe was a good thing, so I went and they pulled three vials of crimson life.
I'm a very good bleeder...I didn't feel the needle at all, and I watched as the blood rushed into the vials...it looks really cool.
It's actually kinda nifty how it flows so quickly. Physics is weird.
Anyway, I went in not worried at all...I've never really felt myself at risk.
But by the time I got my results back, I was pretty fucking nervous.
What if there was something there, ya know?
What the hell would happen to this thing I regretfully call my life?
But yesterday was Results day.
You have to go in person, so that adds to the drama.
Then the nurse calls me into a room, and asks me to sit, so I'm like, "fuck".
Then she turns through the pages..."negative"..."negative"..."negative"...
I guess I'm clean.
Go figure.

And then in the glorious bliss of relief, some guy in an old Ford Fairlane backs up into my car.
Mother Fucker.
He went too far out on a stop sign, right there in the parking lot of the complex where the Doc's office is, and backed up with out bothering to see that I was right behind him.
I looked at my car; Nothing.
I got back in my car without saying a word to him, shaking my head.
He apologized like a little bitch and went on his merry way.

I saw The Mummy Returns last night, but won't have a review until later this weekend...

Wednesday 5/9/01
"...'cause I'm a loser
Sooner or later you know I'll be dead" - 3 Doors Down

I decided to drop the class.
It was gonna be too much...
Five 50 question exams in 6 weeks, actually 5 weeks, since there wouldn't be one the first week...
It was gonna be too much.
I know it seems like I didn't give it a chance, but if I didn't drop immediately, I wouldn't get a refund, and I just can't afford to throw away $165 like that.
So yeah, once again, I turned tail and ran...but this time I think it's for the best.
But I still feel like shit.

Tuesday 5/8/01
"Fuck it all with fucking no regrets..." - Metallica

No regrets?
WRONG ANSWER!
I definitely regret signing up for Principles of Business!!!
This class is gonna suck!

We only meet like 12 times, yet we have 5 tests!
We have to put in AT LEAST 10 hours in the Business Lab!
We have a "Project"!
We have to write a short paper!
And to top it all off, there was not one but two books, which I managed to find used, oh, for a mere $100!!!
AAAARRGGHHH!!!!
But hey, what can you do...right?

Sunday 5/6/01
"I've been holding up my hands
Drive another nail in" - Tori Amos

So I watched Stigmata.
It's a pretty cool movie, if not a badly flawed one.
But it did make me think.
The movie points out a flaw that I already knew through some other source.
People were crucified through the wrists, not the hands. The hands couldn't support the body's weight.
(Think about that, they probably discovered this by accident…ouch.)
Anyway, so that means all those crucifixes, paintings, and stained glass windows are all, to quote the movie, "not wrong…inaccurate".
But wait, there's more…and this is my real point to all this.
Wouldn't that mean that every reported case of stigmata, the sudden appearance of "Christ-like" wounds, is a hoax?
I mean, I may be talking outta my ass here, but it seems to me that every time I've seen pictures of a supposed stigmatic, the wounds are in the hands, and not in the wrists.
Bummer.
I always thought that was pretty cool…if it was real.
You know me and my morbid fascination with religion's darker aspects…
Anyway, now I guess I'll discover there's really no such thing as the Chupacabra…

Poets and Madmen is starting to grow on me…
PHEW!!!

I didn't see a new movie this weekend.
Bummer.

I was at the beach for six hours.
Pal Joey gets a tan out of it.
Me? I get ugly uneven red splotches of fried skin.
Say it with me…DORK!

I went with a friend to that club where women dance and men (and occasionally other women) tip them.
Hey, my friend needed the distraction…
At least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it…

Wednesday 5/2/01
"Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real" - Linkin Park

So I finally got it, Poets and Madmen by Savatage!
I haven't heard the whole thing yet, but so far...
I'm disappointed.
Hey, it was bound to happen...
I over-hyped it in my own head for so long, it was just bound to happen.
It'll also be a big adjustment to get used to not having the recently departed singer and guitarist. They were a huge part of the "magic", for lack of a better word.
Anyway, I'm gonna listen to the whole thing, read up on the entire story (it's a concept album) and actually write a review for my much neglected Music Section.
I'll also write a review of the concert that's now a couple of short weeks away.
I can't wait, though I'm worried as all get out about how I'm gonna pull that off without losing my job...

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