Friday, August 29, 2003

This is really more a journal entry, than a concert review, so I'll post it here too:

Monday, August 25, 2003

I've been having really weird dreams lately.
And I don't remember much about any of them, save that they were all weird.
I do remember the creepy, dark night on my very own street, with the scary man selling knives, and weirdest of all, I remember the rock club, where the waitress sat at a table crying while doing homework and I tried to help her out. The waitress in question was Natalie Portman, who I hope was her current age, but she had the hair-do from The Professional...and since her homework literally involved Wonder Woman, I asked Lynda Carter if she could help us out (since she happened to walk right by at that moment anyway).
Like I said, weird stuff.

Stop me if you've heard this one before:
It's gonna be an ugly, ugly week here at work...

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Fucking ducks.
Fucking ducks are everywhere!
My dog...oh, he wants them...he sees them all as potential playthings...chew toys...stress reducers!
Sometimes when I walk him...I let him get kinda close.
He's stronger than of these days...
He'll get too close.
Too many fucking ducks!

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Last night I saw a commercial on TV for Adult ADD. They gave a website address where you can take a test. I didn't remember it, but did a Google search and came up with: THIS SITE.

It's not the one from the commercial, but I would imagine it's very similar.
And I went to that site, and I took two different tests...and they both pretty much confirmed what I've known all along...I have ADD.
We live in a society where everybody blames everything on anything but themselves. I don't wanna be like that. I mean, I know if I applied myself harder, I'd probably perservere. But I've always known there was much more to it than just laziness.
I mean...well, I dunno. But I think people who aren't exactly on top of their game should go to the site and see how they do.
I mean, is it just me?
Can't be...right?

The question then is, how do I progress from here?
I'm loathe to seek professional assistance, mostly because I'm so worried about taking any drugs. I mean, let's face it...I think my head problems go much further than ADD. I think there's severe depression to deal with, and I truly feel I am probably even BiPolar.
People always laugh it off when I tell them, but I think it's true.
Anyway, check out that test.
I dunno..let me know if you end up smelling like roses.
Maybe it is just me...

Sunday, August 10, 2003

I have a tendency to explode and scream and be irrational, and then the moment's passed, and I can't take back my behavior, or the unfiltered words that spew from my mouth...
And then I feel really stupid.

Thursday, August 7, 2003

So AWENULD is running for Governor of California...
Good. I hope he wins.
His improptu press conference, complete with a "Tonight Show" podium, was very good actually.
I mean, I don't know a damn thing about politics, nor do I care, really.
But still, he seems to care...

I watched those Teen Choice Awards last night.
See, I told you I have no life.
Dunno what to make of Kobe's "hero's welcome"...
And it's a little frightening how these young ladies dress nowadays.
Oy vey...I'm reminded of that classic chestnut by Jethro Tull, Aqualung...
"Sitting on a park bench
Eyeing little girls with bad intent"...
For shame, really.

Tuesday, August 5, 2003

So I'm a little shocked.
I saw a report on TV where a current contemporary artist, I don't know his name, but he's a well respected artist, has written a book claiming that the old masters of art kinda cheated when they painted their masterpieces. Shocking, huh?
I mean, he seems pretty confident that they, well, traced. TRACED!!!
He says that they basically used concave lenses and mirrors to project the image of their subjects on to the canvas, and then traced it first, before actually painting.
Ironically, while it steals a bit of the classic artists' thunder in terms of talent, it opens up a whole can o'worms regarding the use of optics so early on. We're talking 1400's here. And his evidence is compelling. In the early 1400's, art was not realistic at all...then, about 1420, art started being very realistic.
He also pointed out how many of the old classics have left handed subjects. Apparently a larger percentage of the classics have lefties than righties, which doesn't fit the true norm. He even showed one classic where all four subjects in the painting are lefty...including a monkey. Obviously the importance is that a mirror image would reflect the opposite of reality, so somebody holding something in their right hand, would appear to be holding it in the left.
It was all curious and kinda fascinating, and in reality, not that big a deal, because the finished product was indeed painted and amazing.
But still, it makes you think.

As to why I chose to write about that here, in my little depression soapbox, I dunno.
But if it makes you feel better, I AM depressed as Hell.
Been awake since 4 AM...lying in bed and dwelling on the futility of it all.
Lying awake in bed and dwelling on my misery was the inspiration for an old "poem" (in quotes because it's so not worthy of being called a poem), TORMENT...